Alice hates ...

I could start with a post about the holidays. I could post about my new laptop, or new year's resolutions, or my trip to Flagstaff wherein I did not get to hug a deer like I had so wanted.

Instead, I'll share something I learned last night: Don't fall asleep while texting someone. Now, I'll share a little background before I just dive into this gem of widsom. I have insomnia. I haven't really slept in at least a week. I'm staying up to two, three, four in the morning because I can't sleep, and still waking up early because of work. It really does feel like the begining of Fight Club- I'm half dreaming all the time now. Like I told Rachel, maybe I need to find myself a Bob, with sweaty bitch-tits, and cry. Or slide.

Last night was New Year's Eve. Rachel stayed late to oggle Link (feel free to read her blog for details) and when I was just about to attempt sleep, I got a text from Matt.

"Happy new year"

Fine and dandy. I send of a quick response, continue kicking Rachel the hell out of my house, put my cell phone by my bed, and get ready for bed. I snuggle in, and try to coax sleep by reading passages of a book about infectious disease. (Disease can be fun, too!).

Here's where it gets wierd. I fell asleep at some point around two in the morning. I know, because my cell phone tells me this, I got another message at 2:30-ish, and I responded. Somehow. I'm not sure how I managed that, because I was sleeping at the time. I commented on how obscenely early in the morning it was.

Message sent, all done for the night, right? Nope. I spent my remaining four hours of "sleep" dreaming about texting people. And their responses. It was crazy, let me tell you. And I dremt it with the natural pauses while people read their messages, and typed back. Like so:

(This one was to Cassie)

Hi Cass. You were lame in Flagstaff.

(Then, I didn't dream about anything for about 10 minutes.)

Cassie: Shut up. Where are you ? :/ (she always puts those on the end)

Me: I'm asleep. Happy New Year.

(Pause)

Cassie: Goodnight. Let's hang sometime this week, okay?


Then I dream-texted Rachel.

Me: Whore.

Rachel: Why aren't you asleep?

Me: I dunno. I can't sleep lately. What are you doing?

Rachel: Reading scanlations online.

Me: Pervert.

(That's all I remember from that one.)

Matt: What are you doing?

Me: I'm asleep. Where are you?

Matt: At work.

Me: I like your blond hair.

Matt: Like a lion?

Me: Yep. Looks like a lion.


And that's about the point where I woke up. The first thing I did was grab my phone from the night stand, thinking, "I didn't just say Matt's hair looks like a lion, did I?" But luckily, no. Thank the lord.

That was about five this morning. I turned my light on and read some more, determined to stop dream-texting people. Which is a good thing. Because if I managed to do the first one while sleeping... disastrous. I'm thinking I'm going to start leaving my phone downstairs now.

The icky part about this, is that it really felt real. In the past, I've slept walked, and I know I sometimes talk in my sleep, and I am pretty much capable of that achieving the lucid dreaming state (something about where you can direct your own dreams because you're half awake anyway). But this is silly. I'm going to try tylenol p.m. or something like that tonight.