Alice hates ...

Let's get this out of the way, shall we?

Top Five things you probably don't know about Alice


1.




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GODDAMIT. I lost the list I made earlier. Grrr. Now I have to reconstruct it. Particularly annoying, since I'm sure it had something interesting on it... Oh well. Here's five more things I just thought up.



1. Though the name has faded from oral history, my scheme for cheating on a biology exam in high school is legend. It was a ninth grade test on the periodic table, and I hadn't studied a bit. So I took an aquafina bottle, found a blue note card, wrote out what I would need, slid the note card under the label, and kept it out of the table in front of me during the exam. I could peep over the edge and read what I needed.
Now, brilliant as that was, I still got caught. Which sucked. But I knew, right then and there, that the perodic table and I would never be friends, and have since avoided chemistry and biology like the plague.

Back to the story: By the end of that day, a mere three periods later, the entire school knew about it. Everyone. I got applause, handshakes, the whole shebang. Didn't stop there. The next day, every teacher at the school knew. I was WATCHED during every exam in bio after that, and most of my other teachers made jokes about it during exam times. Still didn't stop there. I found out teachers in other schools knew about it, when Rachel's mom, a kindergarten teacher in a school in another city and another school district, told Rachel the story of my cheating episode, who said, yeah. That was Rachel. (Something like that, anyway. As Rachel says, I have the memory of a goldfish)

2. I skipped the seventh grade. And hated every freaking minute of it. See, Mummy and Daddy got the brilliant idea that me being smarter than every other kid in my grade meant I should be moved up. I took the stand that being smarter merely meant I was supposed to never study, do my homework on the bus in the morning, and get perfect scores, making more time for my social life (chatting and passing notes). Their argument for the move being, if I'm not challenged, I'm wasting potential brilliance. (Crap, btw) Unfortunately, my middle school principal agreed.

So while I was supposed to be in some class or another, I was visiting some friends on the field, when one of the office secretaries came out to find me in the early afternoon. I thought I was in trouble for ditching class, so I didn't say much when she hauled me into the principal's office. Course, we were joined shortly by my parents, and the three proceeded to tell me their grand plan for moving me. To which my response was: "Fuck this. You can't do this. Fuck you." I swore like nothing else. Would have made a sailor blush. (Always having extra time and my free-range nature meant I got to know some of the coolest people at school. And their equally cool vocabulary.)

But in the end, it didn't help. I was moved, and everyone hated me. EVERYONE. Not even exaggerating. Okay, a couple people didn't. But I can say the entirety of the eight grade did, and at least 97% of the seventh grade did. Bitter much? Naw...

3. I'm allergic to metal. Specifically nickel, but I've encountered enough nickel-free items to be cautious of most other metallic things. As a result, I don't wear a whole lot of jewelry, and most of my watches have leather or plastic bands.

4. I like sappy romantic movies. It's sooo embarrassing. Kate and Leopold, You've Got Mail, Runaway Bride, Pride and Predjudice, Stranger than fiction, Love Actually, 10 Things I hate about you, Roman Holiday... Yeah. It's really bad. I know. There's two, though, that I hate- The Notebook and Sleepless in Seattle. Those sucked.

5. And, lastly, since I was considering blogging this anyway... I got a ticket this morning. On the 10. For driving in the HOV lane at 8:40 in the morning. Sucked. Which spun me into a whole mini-depression until about lunch. So, naturally, I skipped class. Perfect class-skipping mood. Which compounded it, so I threw Revis on my ipod and let the mood take me. I thought I was doing okay and working through it, except that when I got to work (an hour early) Amanda cornered me within 30 seconds. "What's wrong? What? What is it? Tell me. Tell me. What? Is it bad? Tell me. What happened."

Me: "Nope. It's nothing."

Amanda: "What? Tell me. What? Family? School? What. Tell me. Sametime?"

So I told her. Good thing, and bad thing, at the same time. I like telling Amanda things. She's a good listener. But still, I didn't really want to share. And I also don't like the fact that she picked up on it right away. Dunno.

It's late. G'night.


(P.s., blog title = old spice commercial. Funny, funny)