Little blue pills again

Published Monday, July 02, 2007 by Alice Q in  

Good evening. Didn't think I'd post tonight, did you? Well, I do this sometimes. Mix things up. Tonight's theme: reasons why Alice is a bitch.

Three things I have to apologize for:

1. The "better offer". I recognize this when I see it, because I've done it. To people, all the time. You make plans with someone, then break them or change them up when something more fun comes along. Yeah. I know I've done this to Cassie plenty of times, and I don't feel guilty like I should (see number 3) but I also know I've done this to Dad before, and probably Rachel. Hell, probably all of my friends. So, sorry, Dad, Rachel and Cassie.

2. Combining stuff/people/activities just because it would make me happier. Wow, I can't believe how selfish that really is! And I've done this too!!! To Rachel and to Marcia! I don't really listen to them when they're trying to tell me no, that it's a bad idea, and I pout if they don't go along for it! I'm sorry, Rach, now I finally get it.


3. I am a user. I use people. When I was upset earlier, and didn't want to talk about it in any depth, who did I call?

Cassie.

Whom I haven't spoken to in WEEKS. Why did I call? Because I knew she would entertain me and keep it superficial. I know I don't treat her like I should or like any FRIEND would, and I keep her on the back burner just so she can entertain me when I need it.

I am such a terrible person.


And now, to explain the blog title: I'm annoyed with being conscious, so I took six sleeping pills and am currently chasing it down with Smirnoff. See older blog post should I die. It's some time in December.



Drinkies gone. ::burp::

im gonna watch aqa teen until I pass out

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3 comments:

  1. R² 10:53 PM

    ummm... You know that if you don't answer your phone tomorrow, I'm calling to check up on you.
    6 sleeping pills and a Smirnoff!? What is your major malfunction?! Granted, there's only 5% of alcohol in one of those, but judging from your post you've already have ALOT more than just one. Didn't you see that little warning label on the box saying not to mix the pills with booze? Or were you too much in a drunken stupor to notice? Are you suicidal?

    Just what the hell happened tonight? What caused this sudden revelation? You know that you're apologizing, right? You never do that.

    I'd rather have you alive than apologetic.

    This is SO not you. I expect shit like this from Amanda, but not you. So irresponsible. And disappointing.

    Fuck, you better be alive tomorrow so I can yell at you!!

     
  2. R² 11:09 PM

    Why didn't you call ME?! You crazy git.




    If you're trying to scare the crap outa me, you're doing a fine job of it.




    ::mutter, mutter::

     
  3. Head 12:09 AM

    I'm glad you're worried too. I don't know what to do. I drove to Goodyear to try to get into the house and check on her. But the doors were all locked and her Dad was home. What should I do???? Should I have woke up her dad?

    Please be ok. Please be ok. I honestly don't know what I'll do if you're not.

     

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