Alice hates ...

I now have two sports.

I'm excited; it's kind of a big thing for me. Going from having NO sports to two whole sports, it's a big change.

So far, my sports are baseball and football.

And by "my," I mean I can watch and understand nearly everything going on. And I have a favorite team and player.

Last night, after I'd bid Dad adieu (bedtime, 8:30) I tried to find the rest of the Diamondbacks game that I had been listening to on the radio on TV. It wasn't there, because of football. So I flipped through my sports channels, deciding to either watch football or just read in bed. FSN had ASU's game on, so I though, whatthahell. I even texted M, "I'm going to watch ASU lose this game."

(I'm a hater. Note blog title.)

So I settled in, at the beginning of the second quarter, with ASU trailing Colorado. Only, ASU didn't lose. The scored a cool touch down right off the bat, and kept going. It was actually kind of exciting to watch.

The best part is, last night's game was terrible, according to all the analysis. But it really couldn't have been better for me at all.

See, apparently ASU was playing like ass. Meaning, they were kicking the shit out of Colorado and scoring penalties left and right. (Non-footballers: Penalties are a bad thing.) I literally watched an ASU guy clothesline someone. It was sick. I was giggling like a crazy person. Clotheslines? So obviously against the rules. But this dude (and I don't remember the number, or he'd be my campus hero) runs at the Colorado player, sticks his arm out, and whacks him in the throat, knocking him to the ground. Great stuff, really.

There was some helmet grabbing, some pushing, some interesting tackles and then some more touchdowns for ASU. And then my favorite play of the night:

ASU, in the fourth quarter on like, 4th and 10, has to punt. (Meaning, I think, have to give the ball back to the other team anyway, so they take the opportunity to kick it as far down field as they can to make it difficult for them) There's the kick. Goes something like 48 yards. There's a Colorado player, looking up hopefully, all ready to receive the punt/ball/whatever-you-call-this-type-of-play , then, then! ASU player #3 (forever immortalized in my heart) comes out of nowhere and takes a flying jump into this kid's stomach. They land in a pile near the end zone, and the ball plops onto the ground where Colorado Boy used to be.

Then, the announcers:

"Oh, that is so illegal."
"Number 3 should really know better than that."
"What was he thinking?"
"There's no way that's not interference with his catch."

And me, realizing that that tackle was not, in fact fair and awesome, it was unfair, wrong, against the rules, flagrant, bad and naughty, and yes, still awesome.

An open letter to the Sun Devils:

Dear Sun Devils-

Congratulations on winning the game last night. Don't let the press get you down. You fought dirty, and still won? I say that's an excellent strategy right there. Five personal fouls and 136 penalty yards seems like the ground floor to me. If you need some encouragement, I'll host WWE Raw night at my place. We'll tell Dennis Erickson we're all studying. I'll bake something.

Rudy Carpenter? You're nuts. But if I have to hear the color commentary from the FSN people tell me that one more time, I'm going to stab someone. It's enough to see you take the field rocking half a shirt (left side, long sleeves, right side, no sleeves!) and to watch you pound your head on the field when your teammates can't your throws, and to watch you pout when things aren't going your way to know this. I don't know if you were the right choice for the Sun Devils with the whole too-many-quarterbacks-in-the-kitchen debate from last year, but I do know you're the right choice to get Ace McShank a watchin'.

Rudy Burgess? I love you. That illegal tackle was stellar. Thank you for making football awesome.

I'll see you boys next Saturday.

Love,

Alice


P.s., the Dbacks won, too. Woot!